Witze

[DUX]

In einer Runde mit afi, Pompferl, Michl, Fennek, Dougie.... sicher DER Brüller. Andererseits halten die das ja für die Wahrheit.

ich find ihn aber auch geil

hat unterhaltungswert

" Mama der Milchmann ist da."

"na dann lass ihn rein"

"hab ich schon..er will nochmal"

[Dylan]

Sag mal, Dylan: willst mal bei einem zukünftigen Meeting dabei sein?

Wieso, brauchts leicht einen Quotenlinken?

ich galub es dauert nicht lang, bis capo für den witz zerlegen!

Ich glaub da lohnt sich der Aufwand nicht.............

[Pompfinewra]

Wieso, brauchts leicht einen Quotenlinken?

einer muß ja das bier holen

[Dylan]

einer muß ja das bier holen

Du meinst drei Bier.

[toby_collar]

........

" Mama der Milchmann ist da."

"na dann lass ihn rein"

"hab ich schon..er will nochmal"

[acm]

The art of storytelling is not dead...

Here's a prime example of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus"...

offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an

actual class assignment:

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a

new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person

will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right or

left.

As

homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short

story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy

to me. The partner will read the first paragraph, and then add another

paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to

me.

The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on,

back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in

order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking

outside of the e- mails, and anything you wish to say must be written in

the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been

reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:

Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The

chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now

reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he

liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind

off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about

him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of

the question.

(Second paragraph by Gary )

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron

now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about

than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with

whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to

Geostation 17," he said, into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar

orbit established. No sign of resistance so far." But before he could

sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a

hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him

flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt

one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who

had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its

pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.

"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel",

Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously

excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her

youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no

newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of

innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.

"Why

must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered

wistfully.

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.

Thousands of

miles above the city, the Anudrian mothership launched the first of its

lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the

Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the Congress had left

Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were

determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage

of the treaty, the Anudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying

enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop

them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion

missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his

top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the oceanfloor off the coast

of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor,

stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My

writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose

attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I

have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh

no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many

Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)

As*h@le.

(Gary)

B*tch!

(Rebecca)

F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!

(Gary)

In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.

(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one!

[themanwhowasntthere]

abgesehend avon, dass sie sicher kein a+ bekommen haben, doch recht unterhaltsam.

[Pompfinewra]

Du meinst drei Bier.

aber drei humpen bitte, du dump

[nevermore]

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.

Thousands of

miles above the city, the Anudrian mothership launched the first of its

lithium fusion missiles.

Da bin ich fast vom Stuhl gekippt :lol:

bearbeitet 27. Juni 2007 von nevermore

[liverbird]

traurig, aber leider wahr !!

[k3nny]

csabi, bist du's?

[Exilgrüner]

The art of storytelling is not dead...

Here's a prime example of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus"...

offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an

actual class assignment:

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a

new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person

will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right or

left.

As

homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short

story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy

to me. The partner will read the first paragraph, and then add another

paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to

me.

The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on,

back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in

order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking

outside of the e- mails, and anything you wish to say must be written in

the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been

reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:

Rebecca and Gary.

THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The

chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now

reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he

liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind

off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about

him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of

the question.

(Second paragraph by Gary )

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron

now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about

than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with

whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to

Geostation 17," he said, into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar

orbit established. No sign of resistance so far." But before he could

sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a

hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him

flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt

one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who

had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its

pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.

"Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel",

Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously

excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her

youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no

newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of

innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her.

"Why

must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered

wistfully.

(Gary)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.

Thousands of

miles above the city, the Anudrian mothership launched the first of its

lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the

Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the Congress had left

Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were

determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage

of the treaty, the Anudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying

enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop

them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion

missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his

top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the oceanfloor off the coast

of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor,

stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My

writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary)

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose

attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I

have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh

no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many

Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)

As*h@le.

(Gary)

B*tch!

(Rebecca)

F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!

(Gary)

In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.

(TEACHER)

A+ - I really liked this one!

Weltklasse, der ganze Text.

Ich glaube, dass beschreibts am besten.

[k3nny]

[void]

Neulich wurde ein Sarg

auf dem Rhein gefunden.

Die Polizei hat ihn nicht öffnen können.

Es war ein Zuhälter drin.

[Inquisitor]

Neulich wurde ein Sarg

auf dem Rhein gefunden.

Die Polizei hat ihn nicht öffnen können.

Es war ein Zuhälter drin.

Der braucht ein paar Sekunden, is dann aber gar nicht so mies...