Witze

[Patrax Jesus]

warum kommt jefferson zu spät zum schalke training?

er hat sich farfan

[Heikki]

Der kann nur von dir kommen

[Xaverl Nick]

Ethik und Moral haben in Witzen nichts verloren.

Immer das gleich hier...

Über pädophile Juden die Süssigkeiten verkaufen darf man lachen, über einen Wortwitz mit Ausschwitz nicht.

Witze beziehen sich darauf, dass etwas unerwartetes passiert. Habe ich beim Ausschwitz Witz gelacht? Nein, nicht lustig. Werde ich zukünftig bereits beim Wort Jude mein Gehirn einschalten? Sicher nicht.

Und die ganzen "Wäääh, die hat ja schon Zähne" sind so lustig, dass sie es sogar in den "Post of the Year" Thread schaffen.

Dieses ganze Moralgetue kann man weiterspinnen bis zu den Blondinnenwitzen, oder man lasst es bleiben.

Naja, mit gewissen Witzen (rassistische, gewisse Krankheiten,...) kann man halt Leute "treffen" die wirklich schlimme Dinge durchgemacht haben, wenn sie ihn lesen. Ich denk, das schafft man mit Blondinenwitzen einfach nicht (außer sie sind wirklich dumm, aber dann versteh sie den Witz eh nicht )

Ich persönlich lach über jegliche Witze, sofern sie lustig sind. Aber ich kanns halt niemandem verdenken, wenn er einen Witz, bei dem er indirekt betroffen ist, nicht witzig sondern geschmacklos findet.

bearbeitet 16. April 2012 von Xaverl Nick

[j.d.]

here we go

What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and Sarah Palin's vagina?

Only some of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded.

Q: What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

A: Not being retarded.

You know that your girlfriend is too young when you have to make airplane noises to get your cock in her mouth.

So a lady is walking down 5th ave in New York and as she passes a shoe store she sees thee most incredible pair of white leather high-heels. She stands outside and drools for a minute before finally deciding to go into the store to inquire about acquiring these magnificent specimens.

When she finally finds the store clerk she asks him about the white shoes in the window... "Oh thoooose!" he says "They are SO popular, extremely rare and outrageously expensive!" "expensive?" she says. "How expensive?" The clerk takes a deep breath and says "they're $3900" "HOLY FUCKING SHIT" the lady cries, "Why in the world are they so expensive?" The clerk goes on to explain that, in fact, those beautiful white shoes in the window are made of HUMAN SKIN. "ohmygod" she gasps. "That's incredible. I would still love to own them despite that, but they're just too expensive." "Well, if price in an issue," says the clerk... "We do have them in black for $11.99"

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

A man and a little girl is walking in a wood. I'm scared says the little girl, it's so dark in here. Well, think about me, says the man, I have to walk all the way out again alone.

what do nike and the klan have in common?

they both make black people run fast.

How long does it take for a woman to have an orgasm?

Who cares.

A little girl walks into her parents room and catches her dad walking out of the shower. She says, "Daddy, whats that thing hanging in between your legs?" He responds, "That's called a penis." She thinks about it for a little while and asks, "Daddy when am I gonna get a penis?" He responds, "Well honey, I was hoping as soon as your mom leaves."

Knock Knock

Who's there?

9/11

9/11 Who?

YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET!

A black baby was given wings by God. The baby asked "does this mean im an angel?" God laughed and said "nah nigga you a bat"

I was raping a woman the other night and she cried, "Please, think of my children!"

Kinky bitch.

"Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college."

"No...."

"Neither did I."

A black, a jew, and a mexican walk into a bar. Bartender says, "GET THE FUCK OUT."

Q: What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?

A: Gangrape

sind aber bei weitem nicht mehr so toll wie die vorigen

[aXXit]

Ein Mann geht ins Bauhaus in die Leiterabteilung und fragt die Abteilungsleiter ob sie Leitern haben. Sie sagt: nein, Leiter nicht.

[fenix]

Ein paar Gute sind schon dabei. Der mit den Schuhen z.B.

[j.d.]

Was sagt ein Blinder der an einem Fischteich vorbeigeht?

Grüß Gott die Damen!

[Mike_10]

C. Ronaldo kommt weinend nach Hause und die Mutter fragt ihn: Schon wieder Messi? Darauhin Ronaldo: Nein ein NEUER.

[Guardiola16]

C. Ronaldo kommt weinend nach Hause und die Mutter fragt ihn: Schon wieder Messi? Darauhin Ronaldo: Nein ein NEUER.

nice one

[doomslayer]

Ein paar Brauchbare sollten dabei sein.

Did you know the dyslexic atheist who didn't believe in dog?

What’s the similarity between a jew and a stiff nipple?

They both disappear after a hot shower.

9/11 Jokes are not funny, but the other two are hilarious.

Kommt ein Mann mit einem Papagei auf der Schulter in eine Bar. Den Rest des Witzes habe ich vergessen, aber deine Mutter ist eine Hure!

What do I have in common with neutrinos?

We're both constantly penetrating your mom.

Was ist blau und voller Titten?

Müllsack auf der Brustkrebsstation.

A professor at the Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks: “How many people here believe in ghosts?”

About 90 students raise their hands.

“Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?”

About 40 students raise their hands.

“That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”

About 15 students raise their hand.

“Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?”

Three students raise their hands.

“That’s fantastic! Now let me ask you one question further…have any of you ever made love to a ghost?”

Way in the back, Ahmed raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses and says: “Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”

Ahmed replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks “So, Ahmed, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?”

Ahmed: “Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats.”

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened - unless it's rape.

Why don’t black people take cruises?

They fell for that trick once already!

What does a black kid get for Christmas?

Your bike.

What’s the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew?

Santa Claus goes down the chimney.

whats the difference between Jesus, and a picture of Jesus?

it only takes one nail to hang the picture.

[Xardas_2.6]

nice one

#2

[grapper]

Wie verbindet man einem Chinesen die Augen?

Mit Zahnseide

[Gast]

Was kommt raus wenn 100 nackte männer gemeinsam in einen pool schwimmen?

a nudelsuppe

[FoikiOÖ]

Was kommt raus wenn 100 nackte männer gemeinsam in einen pool schwimmen?

a nudelsuppe

lol

[Billie]

Nice