Witze

[mazunte]

[#25]

An out-of-work actor gets a call from his agent one day.

"I got you a job. It's a one-liner."

"That's okay!" replies the actor, "I've been out of work for so long I'll take anything. What's the line?"

"Hark, I hear the cannons roar," says the agent.

"I love it!" says the actor. "When's the audition?"

"Wednesday," says the agent.

Wednesday comes and the actor arrives at the audition. He marches on stage and shouts, "Hark, I hear the cannons roar!"

"Brilliant!" says the director, "you've got the job! The first show is at 9 o'clock, Saturday night."

The actor is so excited that he goes on a major bender. He wakes up 8:30 Saturday evening and runs to the theater, continually repeating his line, "Hark, I hear the cannons roar! Hark, I hear the cannons roar!" He arrives and is stopped by the bouncer.

"Who the heck are you?"

"I'm Hark, I hear the cannons roar" says the actor.

"You're Hark, I hear the cannons roar?" says the bouncer. "You're late! Get up to makeup right now!"

So, the actor runs up to makeup.

"Who the heck are you?" asks the makeup girl.

"I'm Hark, I hear the cannons roar!" he says.

"You're late! Sit down." So she applies the makeup. "Now, quick, get down to the stage, it's almost time to say your line!"

So he dashes down to the stage.

"Who the heck are you?" asks the stage manager.

"I'm Hark, I hear the cannons roar!" he replies.

"Oh, thank God! Just in time! Now get out there, the curtains are about to go up!"

So, the actor runs onto the stage. The curtains rise and he sees that the house is full. Suddenly, there is an almighty bang behind him, and the bewildered actor shouts, "What the fuck was THAT?!"

[Hakuna Matata Arena]

tldr

Treffen sich zwei Anwälte. Sagt der eine zum Anderen 'Wie gehts?' darauf der andere 'Ich kann nicht Klagen'

[Dylan]

Sicher eine nette Person

Ups.....

[Patrax Jesus]

damit das niveau wieder steigt:

wer ist weder schwarz noch ängstlich?

helmut

[TheManuel]

:lol:

Patrax da geht noch einer

[arma]

A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender 'I'll have a Scotch and . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Coke thank you'

'Sure thing' the bartender replies and asks 'but whats with the big pause?'

The panda holds up his hands and says 'I was born with them'

[Patrax Jesus]

wie lobt der srdan den alten michael?

grahovac sagt bravohatz

[Devil Jin]

Wie nennt man ein Eichhörnchen ohne Zähne?

Eichellecker

[CounterKreuzi]

Was sagt ein NFL Running Back zur Moräne, wenn sie wieder mal die Antwort auf eine Quizfrage nicht weiß?

Knowshon Moreno

[unnerum]

Keine Ahnung, wie ich auf den Witz reagieren soll.

[Silva]

Keine Ahnung, wie ich auf den Witz reagieren soll.

[behindbrowneyes]

I'm just here so I won't get fined.

[Rooster]

Wie nennt man einen weitgereisten Rapidler?

Cosmoprolet

[bobby the cat]

Warum ist Lisa von der Schaukel gefallen?

Sie hat keine Arme.

Klopf, Klopf!

Wer ist da?

Bestimmt nicht Lisa!